


Chasing Satisfaction

by SilverThunder



Series: Building Bridges [2]
Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Top!Fushimi, implied Mikorei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:09:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4255914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverThunder/pseuds/SilverThunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After two months of dating, things should just start naturally moving towards <i>that</i> sort of thing, right? Yata and Fushimi's relationship was about to take another step forward - well, if they could ever figure out exactly how.</p>
<p>It probably would've helped if they'd talked to each other...</p>
<p>(sequel to Building Bridges)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Satisfaction

**Author's Note:**

> **All of Building Bridges, including this one-shot sequel, is based on the following prompt from[tumblr](http://brynne-lagaao.tumblr.com):** For Sarumi could you pretty please to a college!AU smut fic??
> 
> I want to thank [dropletons](http://dropletons.tumblr.com/), who was the beta for this fic, and also my original beta from Building Bridges, who will now get to read this for the first time as it's posted! You two are amazing, and I'm so grateful for the help!

There were two consistent musical loops playing on tinny little speakers in the dorm room - both from Yata's favorite fighting game: one winning theme and one losing theme. The losing one - unfortunately - was coming from his handheld console, and the winning - aggravatingly enough - from Saruhiko's laptop.

He was actually pretty glad for the music, though, because it meant there was some other sound in the room aside from the harsh rhythm of their mingled breathing and the wet sound of lips and tongue. Silence would've probably been way too embarrassing.

Yata still wasn't too sure how they'd gone from arguing over that last match to wrestling and then to him ending up jammed in the corner between his bed and the wall with Saruhiko's thin waist held in the circle of his arms and his shoulders caught up in a tight hold while they kissed with increasing enthusiasm. But he wasn't exactly complaining. Saruhiko's mouth was warm and slick, and he moved sinuously against Yata's body as they kissed, sending little pleasure signals up from his lower region to his brain and causing his thoughts to blank out into a hot mess of 'yes', 'more', and 'want want want'.

_Too good..._

They... hadn't exactly gone this far before, so some of this was new. The making out part obviously wasn't - hell, they'd done that before they were even friends, although it was a lot more exciting now. But, bodies pressed together... It - It was different. He could feel the warmth of Saruhiko's skin, although he wasn't quite brave enough to try and get under the layer of clothing, and the slide of their bodies created a friction that was almost too good.

Yata would've been more embarrassed about his obvious reaction, but Saruhiko was a guy too, so... so it was fine. Right?

Saruhiko let out a little, breathy-sounding hum against his lips and then pressed in with his tongue again, at the same time wedging one of his knees between Yata's and pushing his hips down, and - oh.

_Oh._

That - That was a thing, yeah.

Saruhiko was a guy, too.

And he was also... also har -

The thigh between his rubbed up against his groin, and Yata moaned into Saruhiko's mouth without thinking, a little rush of sensation shooting up through his body. He could feel the erection pressed up against his hip, and it was weird, but it was also... kind of erotic?

_Saruhiko's excited, right? He's turned on._

The thought sent another little spike of pleasure through him, and Yata realized belatedly that he'd started grinding up to meet Saruhiko's motions. He recognized the familiar tightening in his lower belly even as his breath started to shorten and his fingers curled on his partner's shirt.

Too fast.  _Shit!_  Yata turned his head, abruptly wrenching their mouths apart, and gasped out a desperate, "Wait - "

"Misaki," Saruhiko breathed out at almost the same moment; his face was flushed, pupils of his eyes blown wide behind his glasses as he pressed down again -

That was the tipping point; Yata bit his lip as his whole body shuddered, a little wave of hot pleasure spilling over him and forcing a reluctant, muffled grunt from his throat.

It was over in about ten seconds, and he was left breathless, face hot, staring up at his boyfriend in complete mortification.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!_

The losing theme music looping on his console suddenly sounded like it was mocking him.

Saruhiko blinked at him, looking like he hadn't quite realized what had happened. Then his expression seemed to clear, eyes narrowing with suspicion. "Misaki, did you just - ?"

"Sh-Sh-Shut up! It's your fault!" Yata turned his face deliberately away, feeling his cheeks burn. This was beyond humiliating. It was the worst - the absolute fucking  _worst!_  "I said  _wait_ , goddamnit!"

For a long moment, he got back nothing but game music. Yata was just about ready to turn back just to see what the hell was with that when Saruhiko said, simply, "Huh."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" he demanded without looking, feeling surly.

"Nothing," Saruhiko drawled, dipping his head to kiss the corner of Yata's jaw.

The little affectionate gesture was sort of nice; Yata softened a bit, feeling some of his furious embarrassment easing up. "Saru - "

"That was a pretty nice face you made, though, Misaki," Saruhiko said, almost right into his ear, voice low. "Let's do it again."

Fury rose up, stronger than embarrassment or affection; Yata shoved his boyfriend off of him and surged up with a vengeance. " _Fuck you, Saru!_ "

The battery on his console had apparently died; the winning theme was the only one still playing.

* * *

"I don't know why you're so upset."

"Shut up! It's your fucking fault, goddamnit!"

Fushimi leaned back against the headboard, crossing his arms over his chest and watching his boyfriend's tense back as he sat hunched on the edge of the mattress, fists clenched at his sides. "Isn't it just normal?"

If he was being honest, he didn't really know one way or another what was 'normal' in this situation - but Misaki didn't need to know that.

_Still, it really was a nice face._  And it wasn't even just the expression - it was all of it put together. Misaki, pressed up against him, his lean body all tense and eager... thrusting up against Fushimi, unable to hold himself back... his desperate face flushed and hazy-eyed with pleasure as he shuddered...

It was definitely not bad.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Misaki snarled back, oblivious to the way Fushimi's skin was prickling up just remembering the foreign sensations. His shoulders hunched up even further, almost defensively. "I've never fucking done this kind of stuff before!"

Fushimi frowned at him, the pleasant feelings fading. This whole 'relationship' thing was barely two months in, and there were a lot of areas where he found himself unsure of what to do. Was he supposed to be trying to comfort Misaki here? That sounded really annoying, honestly... "You think I have?"

Misaki whipped his head around to scowl. "That's not the fucking po - !" Something seemed to occur to him about halfway through that; he blinked, and then his face brightened. "Hey... Hey, that's it!"

Something about that smile really didn't sit well with him. Fushimi frowned. "What?"

Misaki had already turned, climbing back up onto the bed fully and grinning at him like he'd just won a prize. "I just have to do it to you - then we'll be even! So - "

"Huh? No way." Fushimi didn't even have to think before responding. "Disgusting."

Even before he'd finished, he already knew that was the wrong thing to say - Misaki's eyes blazed. "You..." he started, in a low growl, eyebrows coming down into a glare. "Fucking bastard..."

From there, the rest of the evening just went completely downhill.

* * *

"Man, I'm so broke this week..." Bandou sighed mournfully, looking into his empty wallet as they left the trades building. "You think Kusanagi-san would take pity and give me free food?"

Akagi shook his head, a sympathetic grin on his face. "Do we know the same Kusanagi-san? Because if so, I doubt you'd even be asking that."

Bandou let out another sigh, hanging his head. "What if I said I got dumped?"

"How would that make a difference?" Dewa asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He gave Yata free food that one time..."

Yata twisted his head to scowl. "I wasn't  _dumped_!"

"Yeah, yeah." Bandou waved a dismissive hand. "Same thing."

"Except that Yata was dumped by someone he actually cared about," Akagi reminded him patiently.

"I care about those girls!" Bandou protested, at the same time as Yata burst out with, "Like I care about that asshole!"

There was a moment of startled silence.

"Uh-oh..." Chitose rolled his eyes. "Sounds like trouble in paradise."

"So what else is new," Eric murmured, derisively.

"Hah?" Yata craned his neck again to glare at him. "What was that?"

"Yata-san," Kamamoto cut in, sounding sincerely concerned. "Did something happen?"

He turned forward again with an aggrieved sigh. "Nothing big."

Well... nothing that he felt like talking about with these guys, anyway. Yata frowned to himself, considering the past night. Not so much the argument - well, kind of that; even just thinking about it now got on his nerves, with his stupid boyfriend feeling free to fucking humiliate him and then not even consider his pride afterwards... But, anyway, that was typical of Saruhiko, so whatever.

It was just... that was the farthest they'd gone, in two months of dating, and... now that he thought of it...

Maybe things were - kind of, possibly - heading in  _that_  sort of direction.

Just thinking about it brought warmth rushing to his face; he scratched the back of his head, feeling awkward and unsure.  _I'm not really good with this kind of thing, though..._  Just - Saruhiko's expression from before kept sneaking back into his head, all flushed and turned on. He couldn't help but think of it last night when he was lying in bed, wide awake despite how late it was, while the memories were still fresh. Saruhiko's face, and the feel of his body; when they'd rubbed up against each other and how they'd both been h - ha - har -

Even the thought was embarrassing, seriously!

"Yata-san?" Kamamoto's voice startled him out of that thought again; he looked up to find his friend studying him with a dubious sort of expression. "Are you okay?"

_Fuck! I can't think about this kind of stuff around these guys!_  Yata scowled, hoping it would make up for the second rush of heat he felt flooding his cheeks. "O-Of course I am! Why the hell do you keep asking me?"

"Well, you keep spacing out like that," Dewa put in, blandly.

"Seriouly." Chitose shook his head, letting out a rueful sigh. "Probably thinking about all the sweet action he's getting, sharing a room with the person he's dating..."

Bandou echoed his sigh, shooting a resentful look at Yata. "Must be nice..."

"Lucky dog," Chitose agreed and turned a flat stare in the same direction.

"H-Hah? S-S-Sweet a-a-act - ?" Yata jerked his gaze back and forth between them. "Wh-What the fuck - ?"

Kamamoto's phone started to beep loudly before someone could answer him. "Oh, right - I forgot I'm meeting Ayumi. You guys go on without me." He offered a thumbs up and a grin when Yata turned to stare at him a bit wildly. "Yata-san, good luck with whatever's bothering you!"

"O-Oi - wait - " Yata stared after him as he turned to head off in the opposite direction of the bar, nonplussed.  _You're supposed to stay and help me out here!_

Not that Kamamoto could help him much, considering the real problem... It wasn't like he didn't know what Bandou and Chitose were trying to get at. Hell, he was thinking about it himself, so it wasn't like he could even blame them. Yata scowled to himself. The unfortunate truth was...

_I have no fucking idea how the hell sex is supposed to work between two guys!_

Well, okay, he had  _some_  idea - he wasn't a goddamn kid. But, well... fuck.  _How?_  There was no way you were supposed to just... just go... in...

_Shit..._  Yata hunched his shoulders, glancing around at the others furtively. He couldn't keep thinking about it, out in public and everything. But seriously. If there was just some way to find all of this stuff out...

_Wait._

Maybe...

"Sorry, I've got something to do, too!" He flipped the skateboard from under his arm, tossing it onto the sidewalk. "Catch you guys later!" With a half-hearted wave over his shoulder, he started off in the direction of the dorms.

Seriously, he should've thought of this sooner.  _Saruhiko's in class, right?_  It was Thursday, so... Yata checked his watch quickly. Yeah, class for another hour, and then he was managing a seminar for Munakata.

He still didn't quite get how that guy thought it was a good idea to put Yata's ridiculously anti-social boyfriend in charge of students, but... whatever.

By the time he was back at the dorm, fitting his key into the lock on their room's door, he was feeling pretty pleased with himself for coming up with the idea. Even more so when he opened the door and found that -  _Lucky!_  - Saruhiko's laptop actually was there, sitting on the desk, ready and waiting.

Yata hastily leaned his skateboard against the wall, flipping on the light and moving over to sit at the desk. Saruhiko was pretty possessive of his stuff, but he had let Yata use the laptop once - just  _once_  - to look something up while he was busy fixing one of the buttons on Yata's game console. So he already knew there was no password, and he also knew which of the icons would start up the web browser. Plus, the search engine opened up by default when he did, so all he had to do in order to look up what he needed was to type something in.

It was so fucking easy, and Saruhiko would never know he'd even done it. Simple.

Grinning to himself, Yata typed 'gay sex' into the search bar and hit the button.

The results were... not exactly what he'd expected.

The first thing his eyes fell on was the row of pictures at the top: two large, beefy-looking guys with impossibly-sized... stuff, rubbing up against each other; another man with his legs spread and someone who looked like a girl but was probably also a guy kneeling between them; and a pair of oiled-up guys bent over like dogs humping.

Yata pushed back the chair so fast he nearly tipped over onto the ground, feeling his face flare up again.  _What the actual FUCK? This - this shows up, just like that? This kind of stuff..._

It took physical effort to lift his gaze back to the screen, and he avoided looking at the images, scrolling down just enough so that they were no longer visible, before letting out an agitated sigh.

_Fucking hell..._

All right, so that left just the non-image results... He hopefully scanned the list of top matches. 'XXX Videos for free!!!', 'gay-sex videos', 'Gay Male Tube', 'Gay Porn Videos & Free Tube Sex Movies', 'Twinks & Bears' -  _The fuck is that even supposed to mean?_  - and 'CUMSUCKERS'.

"Wh-What the hell?" There was nothing but videos and weird shit. Yata stared at the page for a long moment, narrowing his eyes and feeling his lips pull down into a scowl. Well... it wasn't like he'd never seen porn before. Seriously. He'd looked at one of those magazines once, when Bandou had brought it into the bar, and he hadn't even flinched. Much. Okay, he might've stared at the wall while everyone else looked at it, but, whatever, it counted.

Still...

_There's no fucking way I can watch gay porn!_  He was on the verge of closing everything and just giving up on it, but then that image that had burned itself onto his brain flashed through his head again - Saruhiko, flushed and turned on - and his finger hesitated over the mouse button.

If he just closed it, without even trying...

If he never figured out how two guys did it...

Would - would they turn into a sexless couple? Like, never having sex, ever? Or maybe... one day it would start to happen, and he wouldn't know what to do, and Saruhiko would click his tongue and make some rude comment about virginity and scoff at him. He could actually see the mocking derision in his boyfriend's eyes right now; it was way too easy to picture.

_Fuck._  Yata braced his elbow on the desk and leaned his forehead on his upturned palm, frustrated.  _Fuck, no, I gotta figure this out. We're having sex, goddamnit!_

He sucked in another long, determined breath and turned his eyes towards the screen again. Picking out one of the less... weird... titles, he clicked on the link.

Almost before the page had even finished loading, the sound of slow music, harsh breathing, and obnoxiously loud moaning blared out from the speakers. "What the  _fuck_!?" Barely registering the video playing on the screen in front of him, Yata frantically hunted for the volume control.  _How the HELL do you turn this shit down?_

His fingers bumped the mouse button again, inadvertently hitting one of the questionable-looking ads on the page, and a close-up shot of some dude's asshole was suddenly all the way across the screen in a flashy, ugly popup. The 'x' to close the window wasn't even visible.

Another set of music flared out over the first - if possible, even louder than before.

_Shit! No..._  On the edge of panic now, Yata clenched his teeth and tried to move the window to find out how to close it.

He must have clicked on something else, because immediately, three more popups sprang to life on the screen, each one with a different set of guys fucking. More moaning voices assaulted the speakers, playing against the others like some kind of fucked up chorus of porn.

Yata stared at the keyboard of Saruhiko's laptop, unable to bring himself to raise his eyes, and felt his hands shaking as they formed into fists so tight his knuckles whitened.

_... Fuck..._

His heart was just about ready to break through his chest.  _I have to fucking fix this!_  If Saruhiko came back and saw... He didn't even want to think about it. His life would be over. Seriously.  _HOW the fuck am I supposed to fix this?_  Every time he clicked something, more ads opened up.

_Shit shit SHIT!_  Yata clenched his teeth, hunching his shoulders as his mind scrambled for an answer. Fuck. Okay. He just needed to... call someone. Someone who wouldn't laugh at him. Someone who could help him out of this and still keep his damn mouth shut about it afterwards.

Silently trying to slow his breathing to the point where he would still be able to actually talk, Yata picked up his phone and went into the contacts menu to dial Kamamoto.

It took two attempts for the call to go through - the first one went to voicemail. Yata's fingers clenched on his phone's case as he made the second.  _Pick the fuck up, you fat bastard!_

Finally -  _finally_  - there was a click and then Kamamoto's voice answered, "Yata-san, I can't talk right now - is it something impor - ?"

"Shut the fuck up, dumbass!" His voice came out shaky and maybe a little higher than it needed to be; he deliberately tried to make it rough for the rest. "This is a goddamn emergency - I need your help right now!"

"What?" Immediately, Kamamoto's voice took on an alarmed note. "What's going on? Is everyone okay?"

"I-I fucked up Saruhiko's computer!" It was too difficult to explain the rest; Yata swallowed and managed, "I - Okay, I was looking something up, and suddenly all these ads opened, and - shit - I don't know what the fuck to do now! You have to help me fix it!"

There was a significant pause on the other end of the line; the porno music and moans continued to play at top volume right through it.

Yata was not in the mood for pauses. "Fucking say something, goddamnit!"

"Yata-san..." Kamamoto's voice was a mix of tentative and cautious - like he didn't really want to know but felt obligated to ask anyway. "What's going on over there?"

"I told you, a bunch of creepy ads opened up!" Fuck, it was probably obvious what he'd been looking up now. Yata felt his face burning again, and made a soft, desperate 'ch' through his teeth. "I can't find the fucking volume either! You seriously need to help me out!"

"I don't know any more than you do about computers, you know..."

"Don't give me that! I know your parents had a computer!" If Kamamoto didn't help him, how the hell was he going to get out of this? He had to leave for work in less than an hour, and if Saruhiko came home and found it like this...

Yata seriously didn't want to even think about that. "You gotta know how to do  _something_! Please!"

"Ah - hang on." There was some muffled conversation on the other end of the line, and then Kamamoto's voice returned. "Ayumi says she knows something about computers - I'm just gonna pass the phone over."

_Ayumi?_  Fuck. Kamamoto's girlfriend. The girlfriend Yata had met twice and hadn't been able to talk to properly even once. "Wai - "

Too late. "Hello?" A bright, girlish voice came through clearly on the phone. "Yata-kun?"

Shit. Yata hastily cupped his hand between his mouth and the phone, hoping to minimize the exposure to the sounds playing through the room. "Ah... h-h-hi... um..."

"Oh, sounds like you have a bit of a problem, huh?" Her tone was clear and straightforward, obviously not even phased. "It's fine, I think I can walk you through it! So, tell me what's on the screen."

_You have got to be kidding me..._  "H-H-Hah?" he responded, weakly, feeling his palms start to sweat. "I - but - "

"Just describe it for me as best you can, okay? As much detail as possible!"

It felt like he was going to have a goddamn heart attack. Yata turned his eyes slowly up to the screen. "I-it's... this... p-p-pop-up..."

"Yes?" Ayumi prompted when he halted there. "What's in the popup?"

He shut his eyes, struggling to breathe evenly.  _Fuck everything, seriously..._  "T-T-Two guys... d-d-doing... st-stuff..."

"I see!" Her voice was bright and innocent - almost too innocent, really. "So, what kind of stuff."

"L-like..." He could still see the image from behind his closed eyelids. "S-s-s-se... se... se..."

"Hah! Okay, I got it! Yata-kun, you were looking up something naughty, huh?" It was almost possible to hear the grin in her voice. "Sorry, I was just curious! Anyway, let's see if we can find what that computer has for an anti-spyware software, huh?"

His hands clenched into fists.  _Just... curious?_  All that, and she was just curious?

_The hell are you doing dating a woman like this, Kamamoto?_

"Yata-kun? Still there?"

He tried to force his voice to be even, eventually having to settle for gritting the word out through his teeth. "Yeah..."

"Oh, good! I'd hate to leave you with your silly porno problem. So, just follow whatever I say, okay?"

_Fuck my fucking life..._

* * *

Fushimi's day had been annoying, all around.

First of all, it had been difficult to sleep the night before. He was used to having Misaki asleep in the bunk beneath him by the time he made it to bed himself - or, at the very least, almost immediately after. Misaki drifted off easily and slept soundly most nights, but last night he must've still been annoyed about the incident beforehand because he was restless for hours.

Secondly, his last class of the day had gone over by ten minutes, and he hadn't had time to get food or drinks afterwards. It was also a pointless delay because the discussion had been about their latest assignment, and it was all thanks to the idiots in his lecture who couldn't seem to figure out basic logic.

Third, his seminar seemed to be made up of more useless, annoying people than he'd remembered, and their questions about the latest test results were stupid beyond belief. Even when he'd explained it, they still didn't seem to understand. He wasn't sure how he could make it any simpler, so he'd ended the class by telling them to visit Munakata's office if they still had issues.

And then, finally, when he'd made it to the cafeteria, Misaki had been touchy and irritable, refusing to meet his gaze and muttering all of his responses to anything Fushimi said at the wall or the counter rather than directly looking at him.

_He's definitely still upset..._  It was stupid, though. Fushimi clicked his tongue, stepping off of the elevator onto his floor in the dorm building. He hadn't deliberately set out to embarrass Misaki; it had been an accident. And it wasn't like he should have to be inconvenienced just to make things 'fair', when it wasn't even his fault to begin with.

Misaki was just going to have to get over it on his own.

The only unfortunate part, he considered, unlocking the door to their shared room, was that it would probably be a while before they got to do anything like that again. Which was irritating, because he'd been thinking that he might  _want_  to do something like that again.

He still thought about how Misaki's arms had felt, holding him close, how Misaki's body had felt squirming against his, and how Misaki's face had looked as Fushimi pushed him over the edge. It was intoxicating and strange, but not unpleasant.

He wanted more.

Those thoughts vanished as he opened the door and caught sight of his laptop sitting open on his desk.

_What?_  That set off his hackles immediately. Fushimi was particular about his laptop; he never left it open. It wasn't even  _all_  the way open either - as he might have expected if he'd been working on it and just forgot to close it. It was partially closed, as if the person who'd closed it had been in a rush and just didn't notice that the screen wasn't all the way down.

There was only one person who it could've been, too. Fushimi clicked his tongue, sliding his bag off of his shoulder and heading for his desk.  _What are you up to now, Misaki?_

Whatever it was, he'd be able to find out easily enough. Misaki wasn't bright enough to hide whatever he'd been doing. Fushimi opened the laptop and brought up the system monitoring program he'd built. Apparently, the browser had been opened earlier that afternoon.

Even easier - there was no way Misaki would've thought to clear the history. Bringing up a new browser window, he opened the listing for the last accessed pages.

And blinked.

Four different porn sites, and a search with the keywords 'gay sex'.

_What._

Fushimi stared at the screen for a moment, perplexed; he wasn't quite sure how to feel about this information.  _He used my computer to look up porn?_  The thought was unfathomable; Misaki was a hopeless virgin who could barely talk about sex, much less watch it in any fashion. And yet, here was the evidence...

_Would he really have been looking for porn, though?_  Fushimi leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he thought about it. Misaki wasn't internet-savvy by any stretch. He'd typed in 'gay sex', not 'gay porn' or 'gay videos' or anything like that. And he was stupidly straightforward.

Really, it was far more likely that he was looking for information, not porn.

_Ah._  Somehow, the thought was surprising, although he thought it probably shouldn't have been. If Misaki was looking for information on gay sex, then the only natural conclusion was that he wanted to do it.

Misaki wanted to have sex with him.

Some small, warm feeling was forming within him; Fushimi shut his eyes for a moment, absorbing the fact. Misaki wanted him. It was normal, considering they were dating, but it still felt impossibly strange to him, being wanted. He could feel the edges of his mouth turning up in a little smile and didn't bother to suppress it.

_I guess it wouldn't be so bad... Having sex with Misaki._

Still, he couldn't leave things in Misaki's hands, that was for sure. Someone who didn't know how to properly filter for actual advice rather than porn couldn't be trusted to gather enough information on the subject. Fushimi uncrossed his arms, leaning forward in his seat again with intent.

He could do the research now, and then when Misaki raised the subject, he would be ready for it.

A few additional keywords kept the search from bringing up too many porn sites in the results - and it was ridiculously easy to avoid them, too; really, even someone as simple as Misaki shouldn't have had  _that_  much trouble. He'd probably thought watching porn would actually give useful information.

_That's why he can't be trusted with this..._

Approximately fifteen minutes of reading later, Fushimi was staring at the screen of his laptop without really seeing it, the fingers of one hand drumming restlessly on the desk beside him and his thoughts... unsettled.

It wasn't like he was naive enough to not know what was involved; there was enough crude basic knowledge that was so openly out there that a person could pick it up whether they wanted to or not - and Fushimi's memory was exceptional. It was more that he hadn't particularly thought of it in practical terms, much less in a sense where it applied to him personally. Now, though, taking in all the tips and the cautioning's and the little bits of useful just-in-case pieces made it feel somehow... real.

These were things he might be doing. Soon, even. With Misaki.

_Misaki..._

His fingers stilled against the desk.

If he closed his eyes for even just a few seconds, he could already see that needy expression - face flushed, lips bruised, amber eyes halfway glazed and staring at him with desperate want. That was how Misaki had looked just from them rubbing up against each other. Would it change if they were doing more? How would he look if their bodies were actually joined?

The vivid memory of Misaki's body jerking against his as he came drifted up to the forefront of Fushimi's thoughts; he took in a breath, thought of Misaki biting his lip and moaning, and let the air out of his lungs slowly.

Would that reaction be more intense if they were actually having sex?

How would it feel to be the focus of Misaki's lust while thrusting inside him? While being thrust into?

_I want all of it._  Misaki's feelings, Misaki's body, Misaki's desire.  _All of you, Misaki..._

The room felt unusually warm; there was a pleasant ache between his legs that was becoming uncomfortable as the frantic pace of his heart pumped blood through his veins to that particular part of his anatomy. Fushimi reached down to unbutton his pants and slide the zipper down so there'd be less strain. Even the slight brush of friction sent a little jolt through him; his breath caught in his throat, eyes sliding open just a crack.

He wasn't really that familiar with this kind of thing. It had always been bothersome in the past; a build-up of pressure that had to be dealt with every so often, without any real focus or enjoyment. Not like this. This... was Misaki's doing. It was because of Misaki that it came on so fast, so hard - so  _intense_.

Misaki, who breathed life into everything in Fushimi's world... who inspired so many strong feelings - love, hate, anger, passion, fear, joy, contentment,  _desire_...

Everything Misaki touched became stronger by a multiple of at least one hundred.

_I want to do it with him._  Fushimi ran his fingers tentatively over the hard lump beneath the fabric of his underwear, a little sound escaping him at the sensation.  _I want to fill him up with feelings for me, only for me - the only person he'll look at like that._  Misaki's expressive eyes, burning with need...  _I want to touch him and make him tremble; I want him to touch me like he can't help himself._  He peeled back the fabric slowly, bringing himself out.

_I want to see him come because of me._

The pleasure that arched up from his lower body when he wrapped his hand around the base and stroked up was more than anticipated; Fushimi let out a gasp that was part-moan, and quickly clamped his teeth together to muffle it. His face felt hot, and he could feel his shoulders trembling, but now that he'd started, he didn't want to stop it. Especially since he could still picture Misaki in his head, hot-eyed stare fixed on him, lips parted just slightly like he'd go in for a kiss. He slid his thumb over the tip and had to bite his lip against another rush of sensation.

_So good... Misaki..._

Maybe with his shirt off; maybe with nothing on at all, red-faced and aroused, barely holding himself back...

That mental image was the tipping point - the pleasure spiked, and then spilled over. Fushimi's breath was momentarily knocked out of him as he came in his hand, body shaking and eyes shut. It felt much better than the other times he'd done it; the after-shivers lasted for a good thirty seconds while he came down. By the time he was sliding his hand free, there was sweat chilling on his forehead and his muscles felt surprisingly loose.

He'd managed to make a mess, though... Fushimi regarded the sticky fluid coating his hand, and then the small amount that had spilled on his shirt, and clicked his tongue, irritation slipping in through the contented lull. He was going to need to go clean up now.  _What a pain..._

It was easier if he pushed aside the thought of exactly what he'd just done and why. Fushimi wiped his hand off with tissue, closed his laptop, and straightened out his underwear and pants. After a moment of considering it, he also pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed a different one to wear on the way to the shared bathroom, leaving the first in with his pile of laundry.

By the time he'd showered and returned to the room, though, it was getting harder to avoid the reality of his situation. Unlocking his cell phone revealed that it was already late - Misaki's shift would be ending any minute.

_I just came while thinking about him._

There it was: the truth that he hadn't let himself consider until now. Fushimi clicked his tongue again, feeling his cheeks grow hot and his stomach churn, and scowled. He didn't really feel like dealing with it right then, honestly. Misaki was being awkward anyway, so it would just end up being annoying to wait up for him.  _It's Friday tomorrow, so it's fine. We'll be together on the weekend._

That was good enough - Fushimi switched off the lights and climbed up to his bunk, removing his glasses and plugging in his phone to charge.

Despite his resolve, it was nearly impossible to settle properly. Even by the time the door to the room opened, and he heard Misaki mutter something like "Seriously?", he hadn't been able to relax at all. After that, listening to the sound of his boyfriend trying - and failing miserably, no surprise - to be quiet, somehow it was even worse.

For the second night in a row, sleep was a long time coming.

* * *

"Food delivery!" Totsuka's cheerful voice announced, just as Yata was stepping out of the trades building for his lunch break. He had the usual cart from the cafeteria stacked with boxed lunches, a special service that seemed to be only for Mikoto's group. "Everyone's hungry, right? King, make sure you come and eat!"

"Ah, yes! I'm starving!" Akagi reached the cart first, eagerly taking one of the boxes. "Thanks, Totsuka-san!"

"I'm still covered until the end of next week, right?" Bandou asked, grabbing his portion. "I'm broke, so..."

"Don't worry about it! Everyone's good, I think." Totsuka waved a casual hand, dismissing any concerns. "I'll square up with anyone who's behind at the bar later, so just take your food and don't think about it for now."

Yata hung back as the rest of the group grabbed their food, taking advantage of Kamamoto's hunger to avoid notice as he waited for the rest of them to drift off without him. Then he took in a breath, steeled himself, and approached the cart. "Totsuka-san, can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" Totsuka blinked at him, looking a little surprised. "Of course! But, this is a surprise - we just saw each other last night at work, after all..."

"Yeah, well..." Yata rubbed at the back of his neck, feeling more than a little awkward about it. "It's - y'know - there's people who can hear us there."

"Oh? It's something personal, then?" Totsuka tilted his head, smile warm and understanding. "About Fushimi-kun, maybe?"

"Eh?" Was he really that easy to see through? Yata could feel his cheeks heat and ducked his head, looking aside. "Uh. Yeah. Kinda."

It didn't seem like Saruhiko had noticed the whole mess with the porn stuff on his laptop - Yata was pretty sure he would've either been smug or pissed off if he had - but it wasn't like he'd accomplished anything, either. Aside from getting a really good eyeful of what it  _looked_  like, he still didn't know how the fuck you were supposed to put your - your -  _that_  up into - into -  _there_.

_It would hurt, right?_  He hadn't exactly tried it, but it seemed like it would.

The guys in the pictures and the videos looked like they were enjoying it, though...

_Fuck, okay, just don't think about that now!_

"Nothing bad, I hope," Totsuka was saying, with all of his usual cheer, as if he had no doubt that everything was fine and happy.

"Y-yeah, not bad." It was difficult to meet his eyes, so Yata didn't even attempt it, still staring fixedly at a spot on the floor to his right. "Just, um, y'know... Totsuka-san, you know a lot of stuff, right?" He didn't wait for an answer, but just went ahead and blurted his question out before he lost his nerve. "D-d'you know how a guy could find out - I mean, like, between two guys when they're gonna - you know..." He could feel his face growing warmer with every word and scowled to cover it. "Just... uh..."

"'Just'...?" Totsuka repeated, and then suddenly slapped a fist onto his hand solidly. "Oh! I got it! You want sex advice, right?"

Yata jerked his gaze up instantly, a little panicked. "O-oi! N-not so loud!"

"Well, I'm not really the best person to ask." Totsuka seemed completely composed, not bothered at all by the question. "But King would know - he's done it before, after all." He lifted his gaze, and beamed over Yata's head. "Right, King?"

For a moment, Yata felt like his heart stopped.  _Fuck..._  He whipped around, staring at his instructor with complete mortification. "M-Mikoto-san... I-I was just..."

"Hm?" Mikoto took the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled smoke upwards, before turning his impassive gaze down. "Done what before?"

"Aha... ha..." Yata waved his hands in front of him, frantically. "Y-you know, it's not that important - actually, I think I'm - "

"Yata wanted to know how two guys have sex," Totsuka supplied with unruffled cheer, like it was no big thing. He leaned forward, cupping a hand around the side of his mouth as if he was giving away some great secret, and added, "I think something big's happening with him and Fushimi-kun."

"T-Totsuka-san!"  _You didn't have to say that much!_  What would Mikoto think of him now? It was so uncool! Yata jerked his gaze back to his instructor, embarrassed beyond belief. "I-It's not - "

"That, huh?" Mikoto regarded him for a second or two, as if in thought, and then said, "You'll need to use a condom." He took another pull from the cigarette and exhaled upwards again, before adding, "Oh, and lube, too."

Yata blinked at him, momentarily forgetting to be embarrassed. "Eh...?"

Somehow... he'd expected a little more than that.

"King, that's not very descriptive, you know," Totsuka chided, half turning as Mikoto moved to walk past him. "Wait, aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm meeting someone for lunch," the response came back - along with a lazily raised hand. "Later."

"Heeeh, 'someone', huh?" Totsuka shook his head, smiling after him almost fondly. "I wonder who that would be..."

Yata looked away from Mikoto's back, disgruntled.  _I still don't have a fucking clue what to do..._  "Oi - Totuska-san?"

"What?"

"D-Don't tell anyone about this." The last thing he'd want would be for it to get back to Saruhiko somehow - he'd never hear the end of it. "Got it?"

"All right! My lips are sealed!" Totsuka actually went ahead and made the motion to go with that. "I can't promise King won't, though - maybe you should say something to him."

"Hah? As if Mikoto-san would tell anyone!" Yata reached over to take a box from the cart, starting to feel a little more normal now that the embarrassing question was out of the way. With full confidence, he added, "There's no way!"

* * *

Almost as soon as he walked into Munakata's office for his Friday shift, Fushimi got the feeling that something was off.

"Ah, Fushimi-kun." Munakata rose from his chair to greet him - something he almost never did. "Good afternoon."

Fushimi eyed him warily, darting a quick glance back toward the door and briefly considering turning to walk straight back out again. "Afternoon," he responded slowly, frowning in what he hoped was a discouraging enough manner.

Apparently not - or, at least, not enough to discourage Munakata, who smiled back at him. "I thought perhaps we might just chat today."

As usual, it seemed like his instincts were right on target. Fushimi clicked his tongue, resisting the urge to take a step back. "I still have a lot of work to get done, so - "

"There's nothing that can't wait until next week - we can set it aside for now," Munakata countered lightly. He seemed more pleased with himself than usual, which was worrisome. "Oh, and before we start, I took the liberty of obtaining some provisions I thought you might make use of."

Provisions... Fushimi frowned at his boss's back as he turned to retrieve whatever it was from his desk.  _Why do I have a bad feeling about this?_

His question was answered almost immediately when Munakata straightened, turning to face him again with a box of condoms in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other.

Fushimi stared at him.

Munakata's answering smile was serene.

"I'm leaving." Abruptly, he turned to make a break for the door.

"Oh? Your shift has only just started, Fushimi-kun."

Fushimi paused with one hand on the door handle. "I'm pretty sure this counts as harassment," he muttered, still caught between disgust and disbelief, and turned his scowl back over his shoulder. "What are you planning to do with those?"

"These?" Munakata looked perfectly composed, holding the aforementioned items as if they were completely innocent. "As I said, they're provisions. I understand you may be considering taking an important step in your relationship with Yata-kun, and I thought some assistance would therefore be in order."

That was... not as traumatizing as he'd expected, but still incredibly irritating. Fushimi clicked his tongue, turning away from the door fully. "Who told you that?"

He didn't expect an answer, but there wasn't much mystery behind where the idea had ultimately come from.  _What are you doing, talking about that kind of stuff with other people, Misaki?_  They hadn't even discussed it between the two of them yet, and already...

Somehow, it kind of stung, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

"Fushimi-kun." Munakata set down the offending items on his desk again. "I'm aware that you are quite thorough, and your ability to retain knowledge is exceptional. I had no doubt that you would do your own independent research on the subject."

For a moment - just a moment - Fushimi had the fleeting hope that he would end things there. His boss would hand over his ridiculously inappropriate gift, tell him to "be safe" or some other meaningless platitude, and they could get back to work and try to pretend the entire exchange had never taken place.

It was a foolish hope.

"However..." Munakata pressed his glasses up on his nose, causing light to gleam off of them almost wickedly. "I'm certain you understand that the internet is most definitely not a replacement for knowledge obtained via first-hand experience."

A kind of sick realization settled at the pit of Fushimi's stomach; he clicked his tongue again. "I don't really - "

"It's not wise to proceed with such an important step in one's life without a full understanding of how one's mental and physical well-being can be affected," Munakata interrupted him sagely. "Besides that" - He turned back to the desk once again - "I did, in fact, prepare a demonstration."

When he turned again, he was holding a fair-sized cucumber in his hand and the box of condoms in the other.

Fushimi wasn't entirely sure how he kept the scream that was echoing off all sides of the inside of his head from escaping him.  _He can't be serious..._  As he turned his eyes up to his boss's enthusiastic smile, though, he could feel his stomach sinking.

_He is totally serious..._

"Watch closely, Fushimi-kun." Munakata set down the cucumber, reaching to open the box. "I'll be sure to test your knowledge afterwards."

The afternoon quickly descended from 'mildly uncomfortable' to 'pure hell' after that.

* * *

When Yata reached the dorms after work, he was so worked up he almost decided to take the stairs, and had to remind himself that the elevator was definitely going to be faster. After he got on and the doors shut, though, he was already shifting restlessly, hefting his skateboard and rubbing at the back of his neck, completely agitated.

_If that asshole isn't hurt, I swear I'm gonna fucking kill him!_

Saruhiko hadn't answered any of his texts all afternoon, and he hadn't showed up at the cafeteria for dinner - he didn't even pick up when Yata  _called_  him. By the time his shift had ended, he'd been so frustrated and tense and worried that he'd left without saying more than a quick "see ya" to Totsuka and gone straight to the dorms.

Now, as the elevator finally dinged and the doors opened, he shot out and bolted down the hallway, hastily pulling out his keys. His heart was pounding hard in his chest as he fumbled through unlocking it and threw the door open, staring wildly into the room.

... to find Saruhiko sitting at his desk, perfectly healthy, frowning moodily at his laptop. He did not look up.

Yata stared at him for a moment, breathing hard, processed the moment of relief... and then let the anger wash over him. "Saru," he growled, slamming the door behind him and glaring at his boyfriend. "You fucking asshole! Why the hell aren't you answering any of my texts?"

At that, Saruhiko did look up, although the way he did it was not promising. His eyes shifted and he slowly turned his head, fixing Yata with a flat, unfriendly stare. "Explain something to me, Misaki," he said, voice slow and somehow with a dangerous edge behind the usual drawling tone. He pointed a finger at a couple of items sitting beside his laptop. "Why was I given these?"

" _Hah?_  What the fuck does that have to do with - ?" The rest of the words were cut off in a strangled intake of breath as he noticed exactly what was being pointed at: a small bottle of lube, and a box of condoms. Yata could feel the blood all rushing up to his face; his skin prickled. "Wh-wh-why - do you - ?"

"This afternoon," Saruhiko cut him off, pushing his chair away from the desk and standing slowly, "I got an unexpected "lesson" from my boss. A very unpleasant, very  _annoying_  lesson." He turned to step towards Yata, gaze narrow and dark. "Can you guess what the subject might have been, Misaki?"

Somehow, that expression was making him a little nervous. Yata swallowed and tried to recover himself, scowling back to cover his embarrassment and the steadily growing uneasy feeling. "H-how the hell should I know?"

"I wonder about that..." Saruhiko stopped right in front of him, looking down at Yata forebodingly through his glasses. "I also wonder how my boss got it in his head that I 'may be considering taking an important step' and needed a lecture on  _safe sex_ , of all things." His frown deepened, eyes narrowing. "Maybe you can explain  _that_  to me, Misaki."

_Shit..._  This was actually really bad. Yata stared back, feeling his heart start to race as he struggled to find words to defend himself. Another rush of heat flooding up over his neck onto his face; he grimaced, scrambling for some way out of this.

_Mikoto-san, how could you!?_

After glaring at him in silence for what felt like a really long moment, Saruhiko clicked his tongue, mouth twisting into a scowl, and looked away. "Talking about it with everyone else... Are you a complete idiot?"

That was enough of a push; Yata bristled, glaring. "A-as if I'd just talk about that kind of stuff! I only asked one goddamn person, and it wasn't like I had a choice! How the fuck was I supposed to find out what to do otherwise?"

Saruhiko made a small, soft derisive noise, still not meeting his eyes. "What, all that porn you looked up wasn't enough for you?"

A sharp little spike of horror stabbed up through him; Yata stared, aghast. "Y-Y-You - how...?"

"You really think you can hide it from me on my own laptop, Misaki?" At that, Saruhiko did raise his eyes, offering a condescending look down his nose. "Don't act like more of an idiot than you already are. Of course I figured it out."

Fuck, all that work cleaning it up, for nothing... Yata couldn't hold that gaze anymore; he looked away, caught between humiliation and frustration. "I wasn't... looking up... you know,  _that_  stuff," he muttered, clenching his hands into fists at his sides as he forced the admission out. "Just... i-it's not like they teach this shit in school - and if - if something, y'know,  _happened_..." He scowled at the wall. "A-anyway, in - in case it does, I wanted to know! What the hell is wrong with that?"

He could hear Saruhiko clicking his tongue again in answer to that; seconds later, his boyfriend muttered, "Why did you have to bring it up with someone else?"

"H-how the fuck else was I supposed to find out?" His attempt to search the internet had obviously ended badly, and it wasn't like he could walk into a library and ask for all their books on how to have gay sex.

_Why does this stuff have to be so difficult, anyway?_

There was a moment of strained silence, and then Saruhiko mumbled, very quietly, "You never said anything."

That was surprising enough to have him jerking his head back up; once again, Saruhiko wasn't meeting his eyes, and this time there was a hint of color on his cheeks. For a moment, Yata was struck dumb by the sight and couldn't think of a thing to say.

_He's really..._

It was hard to think of a word for how Saruhiko looked right at that moment, but either way, it was pretty appealing. Yata swallowed, suddenly nervous. "It - it's embarrassing, okay? Th-there's no way I could just ask the person I wanted to - to  _do_  it with! Also..." The rest of it was hard to say; he rubbed the back of his neck, feeling another pulse of uncomfortable heat on his face, and muttered, "I - kind of, I guess - didn't want to, you know, disappoint you. Or something like that."

Saruhiko turned his head; their eyes met, and Yata felt a little thrill shoot through him.  _That look..._  He'd gotten to know it by now - what it meant when Saruhiko's gaze got that hint of softness behind it. It still affected him just as strongly each time. "Sa... Saru..."

"Even though I never asked for it, I ended up with those things over there." His boyfriend's gaze flickered briefly back in the direction of the desk; when he looked back, they were just a bit guarded. "If you really want to do it that badly, I don't mind."

_'I don't mind'?_  Yata let out a sigh, shutting his eyes, and then felt the beginnings of a rueful smile forming. At least some of the tension felt like it had left him. "What's with that? You really suck at this romantic stuff."

Saruhiko clicked his tongue, looking vaguely annoyed. "I wasn't the one looking for instructions in porn."

Yata scowled back at him. "I told you I wasn't! A-anyway, that's not important right now! If we're gonna have - " Somehow, it was too hard to get the word out. "I-if we're gonna  _do it_ , then you'd better not have some half-assed 'I don't mind' attitude about it!"

"What about you, then?" Saruhiko challenged, still with that hooded gaze. "You can't even say the word 'sex'." Somehow, there was a kind of defensive wariness in his expression. "How much do you really want to do it with me, Misaki?"

_Is this even for real?_  Sometimes Yata thought he was dating the most difficult person in the universe.  _Fuck, it doesn't help that I'm not very good at this kind of thing..._  "I-I want to." He forced himself not to look away, despite his nerves and embarrassment, meeting those cool eyes squarely. "I... think about it. A-a lot."

There was a noticeable softening in Saruhiko's gaze again. "What do you think about?"

The question was unexpected. Yata felt his cheeks flush again. "H-hah? What - ?"

"You said you think about it." Saruhiko's voice was bland, but something in the way his lips were set was a kind of willful stubbornness. "What do you think about doing with me, Misaki?"

"Wh-what...?"  _How the fuck is he not embarrassed, asking something like that?_  It really wasn't fair. Yata fidgeted, struggling not to look away. "D-don't ask that kind of stuff, dumbass!"

If anything, Saruhiko's eyes only narrowed further. "If we're going to have sex, you should at least be able to tell me that."

It kind of made sense, but... "St-still, it's embarrassing!" He tried not to scowl back; it was a struggle, and he was probably making some kind of weird face. "A-anyway, it's just the usual stuff, right? T-touching, and all..."

Even saying that much was awkward.

His boyfriend's frown deepened; his voice was low when he spoke again. "Then, when you think about me, do you touch yourself?"

_Fuck..._  That was too much; Yata jerked, and then abruptly turned his head, unable to keep up eye contact. He felt hot all over, like he was overloading.  _Of fucking course I do, you asshole; I'm a guy, aren't I?_  Still, thinking about it now, in front of the person who'd been fueling all of his fantasies lately, it was way too embarrassing. "That's... that's normal, isn't it?" he muttered, squeezing both hands into fists at his sides.

"How should I know?" Saruhiko's voice came out in a kind of mumble; when Yata risked a glance up, his boyfriend was also looking away, and there was a hint of color on his cheeks as well. "It's the first time for me."

Yata blinked at him, processing that. His stomach gave another little flutter; honestly, he wasn't sure what was more appealing - the blush or the surprisingly candid admission.  _So... that means he also..._  It was almost too much to think about.  _Saruhiko, doing that kind of thing..._  His heart was already racing in his chest, and there was a little pleasant spark of interest from his lower region. "M-me, too," he blurted. "It's also my - my first."

Saruhiko made a soft, derisive noise and turned his gaze back, smiling faintly. "Obviously."

Somehow, that relaxed the atmosphere a little. "Don't be a dick."

"Mm-hm." Saruhiko's eyes were soft; he took the initiative and leaned in to press their lips together, light and simple. "I thought of your face," he murmured and moved in for another kiss, pulling back only far enough to add, "from the last time."

The meaning didn't sink in immediately; even after two months of dating, Saruhiko's kisses could blank out his brain and make him feel pleasantly tingly.  _Last ti..._  Oh.  _Oh._  "H-hah? That's - "

He was cut off by another simple kiss; Saruhiko's fingers brushed the side of his face, surprisingly tentative. The taste and feel of his lips followed by that unbelievable piece of information had Yata feeling even more fuzzy-headed; as his boyfriend pulled back, he instinctively chased after him, craving more.

Saruhiko indulged him for another moment, kissing back, and then broke away as Yata was reaching out to wind his arms around that familiar thin waist to pull them closer together. "I told you mine," he pointed out, eyes lidded behind the shield of his glasses. "Fair's fair, Misaki."

_Ah, fuck._  Still, it was a bit less awkward and embarrassing with his boyfriend in the circle of his arms as they were about to make out. And maybe more. Probably more. He really needed to stop thinking. "I - me, too." Even with all of that, his face still felt hot as he muttered, "I... thought of your face, too. From - from that time." And the way Saruhiko's body had felt rubbing up against his, but that would've been too much to admit.

It seemed like the one admission was enough, though; Saruhiko's eyes softened, and his other hand came up so that both of them were cupping the sides of Yata's face. His fingers were warm, and the touch was less hesitant as he leaned back in to meet Yata in a kiss halfway between them.

The conversation was still in his head as the kiss deepened, and he couldn't deny that it made things more exciting. Just knowing that Saruhiko was thinking of him while - while doing  _that_  was the biggest turn-on. Yata pushed up aggressively against his boyfriend's mouth, dipping his tongue inside to catch the taste and the feel, and felt the pleasant beginnings of arousal curling in the lower part of his body. His arms tightened around Saruhiko's waist, fingers dipping just shy of the line of his pants as he felt the expected press back against his lips and the slick feel of tongue moving against his.

_He... he wants this, too._  An unconscious moan was muffled against his partner's lips; he couldn't quite manage to feel embarrassed about it, especially as he felt the thrum of a pleased little noise from Saruhiko in response.  _He wants to do it with me._

Just the thought was intoxicating.

They were both breathing heavily when they pulled back; Yata slid his eyes open slowly and looked up at Saruhiko's face. The heated color was stark against his pale skin, his eyes were lidded and heady-looking behind the glasses, and his bruised lips parted slightly as he breathed.

The sight went straight to Yata's dick, which was already starting to twitch with interest. He swallowed, feeling suddenly nervous. "Sa... Saruhiko..."

The hands cupping his face had slid back and were buried in his hair; they tightened a bit as he spoke. "Misaki," Saruhiko murmured back, low and affected, then shut his eyes and let out a somewhat shaky sigh. "Show me that face again."

He didn't exactly want to refuse a demand like  _that_. Yata allowed himself a smile, feeling bold enough to slide his fingers under the hem of his boyfriend's shirt. Touching the bare skin underneath was even more exciting. "This time you're gonna have to show me yours, too," he shot back, and leaned up again.

As their lips met, his hands ventured higher, pushing Saruhiko's shirt up over his back.  _I want to see him. I want to touch him._  The thoughts that were running through his head were growing increasingly insistent; he moaned into Saruhiko's mouth again.

"Misaki," Saruhiko breathed again, as they broke apart. He freed his hands from Yata's hair and stepped back to pull his shirt over his head and off. His eyes were intent when their gazes locked again, and he reached out to tug meaningfully at the fabric still covering Yata's upper body.

"O-oh. Yeah." He had to slide his hands away from where they rested now on his boyfriend's hips, which was sort of disappointing, but it was going to be worth it in the end. They were getting naked - fuck - they were going to have  _sex_. It was both exciting and kind of overwhelming, but he wasn't complaining.

When he'd gotten it off and they were both shirtless, there was a bit of an awkward moment where they just kind of stared at each other. Yata had to swallow, because - seriously - despite living together and dating for a little more than two months, he'd never actually seen his boyfriend without a shirt. Saruhiko's skin was kind of pale, and he was probably a bit leaner than Yata, but somehow everything from the slope of his shoulders to the defined lines of his collar to the thin, flat plain of his stomach was beautiful.

Yata swallowed again, harder.  _I really want to touch him._  His eyes dipped lower, catching on the bulge in the front of Saruhiko's pants, and suddenly his own shorts seemed far too tight.

It was almost too much; he had to turn away, feeling his cheeks burn again, and tried to calm down a little. "I-I'll get the... stuff." Never even fucking mind that he wasn't really all that sure what to do with it. They could figure it out, right? He hastily stepped up to the desk, grabbing both box and bottle, and turned towards the bed.

... Just in time to catch his boyfriend undoing his fly; Yata's breath caught sharply in his throat, and he stood there for a moment, completely frozen, as Saruhiko slid his pants down over his underwear - his fucking  _underwear_ , which was not really that remarkable except that Saruhiko was wearing it, and nothing else, and - fuck - it was much easier to see the outline of his very obvious erection. He sat down on the bed to slide them the rest of the way off, looked up, and his eyes went lidded again as they locked gazes, the edges of his mouth turning up in a small smile.

Yata was only about half-aware of stumbling the few steps it took to bring him from the desk to the bed. That  _smile_ , and those  _eyes_ , and all that bare skin... It was crazy how the sight could blank out his brain and send shivers all the way through him.

"Virgin," Saruhiko murmured as Yata slowed with some uncertainty closer to the bed, and reached out to tug at his belt loops and bring him closer, spreading those long legs so that he fit between them with his knees almost up against the edge of the mattress. "You're overdressed."

"Sh-shut up!" He could feel that traitorous heat rising on his face again, and his fingers clenched against the items he'd just grabbed. Saruhiko's deft fingers had moved to his fly and were making quick work of it; Yata's breathing deepened unintentionally, unable to tear his eyes away as his zipper was slowly undone. "Y-you're a virgin too, you - h-ha..." An unexpected little spike of sensation shot up from his dick as one finger brushed along the clothed length of it, and his breathing stuttered to a temporary halt, thoughts flying off in all directions.

"Hm? I didn't catch that." If he'd been thinking clearly, he'd probably want to knock that little smirk from Saruhiko's face; as it was, he could only watch dumbly as his shorts were edged off his hips and allowed to fall. His boyfriend reached out almost tentatively to cup his erection through the fabric of his underwear, and Yata jerked a little, shutting his eyes and biting his lip against a moan at the little rush of pleasure.

"Saruhiko..." It came out rough; he dropped the condoms and lube on the bed haphazardly and reached out to run his hands along the smooth naked shoulders in front of him, thumbs brushing lightly against the line of collarbone. Saruhiko leaned forward and planted a somewhat awkward kiss at the base of his ribcage, tongue darting out as if to get a taste of his skin, and that was pretty much the point where Yata lost it.

" _Fuck_  - " He clenched his fingers around Saruhiko's shoulders, pulling him back roughly and bending to kiss him with desperation. The clash of lips and tongue was clumsy, with more than a little edge of teeth, but his boyfriend moaned into it just the same, allowing Yata to push him down against the bed and clamber over him.

They shifted gradually, breaking the kiss once or twice to allow for the jerky, disjointed motions, until Saruhiko was lying on his back, Yata's knees braced on either side of his hips, the space between them rapidly decreasing as they continued to kiss sloppily.

It felt like he was going to burst with pent-up  _want_  - Yata's fingers were already greedily mapping out the warm skin over Saruhiko's chest, feeling the line of his ribs, and up to rub a thumb over one nipple, prompting another sexy little noise that seemed to vibrate against his lips. He lowered his hips, bringing their lower bodies into contact, and -  _Ah, fuck!_

The kiss broke, both of them gasping for breath, and Yata was suddenly very strongly aware of the nearly-naked body under his, the hands that were gripping his ass, and the unmistakable press of his boyfriend's hard-on shamelessly rubbing against his.

It - all of it - felt so fucking  _good_ , he could hardly believe it.

_We're really gonna do it. Sex._

"Misaki." As that undeniable fact was still sinking in, Saruhiko was watching him, eyes slightly glazed behind his glasses, his expression full of heady desire and a kind of yearning. "Let me do it," he mumbled, curling his fingers around the curve of Yata's ass, and tugged down, lifting his hips at the same time to create more delicious friction between them. "I want all of you. Misaki." He brushed their lips together, making another needy little sound. "Misaki... Misaki..."

"I-I got it! I got it, okay?" Somehow, just hearing his name in that tone had him more flustered than ever - having it repeated like that was more than he could handle.  _'Let me do it' - so, he wants to..._  Right. Yata shut his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. The desperation underlying that request was going to be the fucking death of him; his cock gave another little twitch, and he barely managed to mutter his response. "Y-Yeah. Anything. Whatever you want."

Saruhiko stared at him for a moment, lips parted slightly and breathing ragged, as if the response had caught him off-guard. Then he abruptly pushed himself up, shifting to a sitting position and tilting his head into another fervent, frantic kiss. The jerky motion caused even more friction below; both of them made little muffled sounds into the kiss, clutching at each other.

He'd never exactly thought about what it would feel like to have another dick rubbing against his, but it turned out it was hot as hell. Too hot, really - Yata had to force himself to pull back, panting and shaking a little as he tried to still the instinctive thrusting of his hips and put some distance between them. He  _really_  didn't want a repeat of what happened last time.

There was a kind of hazy discontent in Saruhiko's eyes when they opened. "What are you doing?" he mumbled.

It took a couple of tries to think clearly. Yata took in a few long, sharp breaths, and struggled for focus. "We - we need the stuff, right?" Besides that... "A-anyway, these need to come off, too." He reached down to pluck at the waistband of his boyfriend's underwear.

Saruhiko shifted his gaze, frowning down at his underwear as if it had somehow personally offended him. It was... strangely cute, actually. Which was weird considering the position they were in, but whatever. Then he made that telltale 'tch', shifting back. "Right."

Yata had to shuffle off of him, a bit awkwardly, and reached down for his own underwear. It was noticeably damp where the head of his cock was trapped by the fabric, and he had to wonder - briefly - if he was going to get made fun of for being over-eager. When he looked up, though, his fingers and thoughts both stilled as Saruhiko lifted the band of his shorts over his erection, and he got his first look at it.

Really, it shouldn't have been a big deal - public baths and locker rooms, and him having his  _own_ , which he'd had a good look at more than a few times, whether it was hard or not - but this was  _Saruhiko_ , and he was naked, and erect, and - fuck - that dick was going inside Yata in probably just a few minutes. He... couldn't exactly help staring, and if his skin prickled up and his stomach tightened and another little jolt of arousal went through him... well, that was probably pretty damn normal, wasn't it?

Saruhiko was seriously beautiful everywhere. It made Yata's throat feel tight.

_I'm the one he's dating, for real..._

He snapped out of that brief reverie when Saruhiko lifted his knees to pull his underwear the rest of the way off.  _Right. I should... probably do that, too._  Trying to ignore the little rush of embarrassment, he gripped the waistband to pull it up and over.

* * *

It was surprising how difficult it was to think clearly. Fushimi was just a little bit irritated that it had to be Misaki reminding him of what needed to be done - he was the one who'd properly researched this after all. But, it didn't matter in the end.

Misaki would accept him... Misaki wanted him to...

Just the thought was exciting; he could feel moisture pooling at the tip of his erection, and the unfamiliar little surge of arousal that had triggered it made him shiver a bit. Fushimi took in a steadying breath, adjusting his glasses and focusing on something more concrete.  _I should get the condoms and lube, first of all._

He was sitting up to reach for them when motion from beside him caught his eye; unwittingly, he glanced over, at the precise moment that Misaki pulled his underwear down to reveal his own erection.

It wasn't so much the appearance of it that froze him - there wasn't exactly a shortage of dick pictures on the internet, regardless of whether or not someone was actually  _looking_  for them - as it was the sight bringing home the reality of the situation. Misaki was turned on; he was hard. Fushimi could reach out and touch him if he wanted, and that touch would be welcome. They were baring all the vulnerable and sensitive parts of themselves, sharing all those private and intimate feelings and reactions, and in just a few short moments, they'd be connecting their bodies.

It was a little overwhelming to think about.  _Misaki..._  Fushimi stared for a moment longer, feeling his fingers tremble as his boyfriend sat back to pull his shorts all the way off, and then forced himself to turn away.

_Focus._

Both the box of condoms and the bottle of lube were at the foot of the bed. Fushimi set the bottle down after retrieving them and pulled a condom from the box, forcibly pushing down the memories of his 'demonstration' as he undid the wrapper. That was honestly the last thing he wanted in his head at this moment.

_Or at any other moment._

He could feel Misaki's eyes on him as he rolled the condom on, and looked up, meeting that gaze. It was too difficult to try and think of something meaningful to say; he settled on, "Ready?"

"Heh. Of course!" Misaki grinned back at him, but his anxiety was betrayed in the way he fidgeted, hunching forward a little. "A-anyway, so. Should I... that is, how should I...?" His cheeks gained a bit of color, more from embarrassment this time. "You know. The... the position."

_How should I know?_  He hadn't thought about it clearly; the urge to sink in and make himself a part of Misaki hadn't come with detailed impressions of how. Fushimi tried not to let his uncertainty show. "... I want to see you."

"H-hah?" Misaki stared at him. "That's... I mean, you can however we do it, right?"

Somehow, that look helped, although he couldn't say how. Having Misaki's gaze on him, though...  _I want to see your face. I want your eyes on me._  Fushimi reached out on impulse to run a finger along the line of his boyfriend's jaw, another little shiver running through him as he took in the way the touch made those fierce amber eyes soften and waver. "Don't you want to see me, Misaki?"

The muscles in Misaki's throat moved noticeably as he swallowed. "Y-yeah..." His gaze grew heated, and then he narrowed his eyes, abruptly reaching out to brace a hand on Fushimi's chest. "Lie down."

Something about the way his voice roughened on that had another tiny rush of pleasure spiking up through Fushimi's body; he didn't protest as Misaki pushed him onto his back, watching with his heart starting to increase in volume and tempo as his boyfriend moved to straddle his hips.

_This is..._  He hadn't anticipated it, but... Misaki braced himself with his hands on the bed next to Fushimi's sides, staring down with a flushed face and fiery, determined eyes, and Fushimi could feel the heat rising on his own face. He lowered his eyelids, staring back up through his lashes without thinking. It probably wasn't bad.

He reached up to tentatively run his fingers around the firm, slim line of Misaki's hips, curling towards the back.  _I can reach._  It would be a a bit awkward without being able to see, but...

Misaki on top of him, looking at him, his entire body in full view...

Definitely not bad.

"Saruhiko..." Misaki bent his arms at the elbow, eyes sliding shut as he leaned down for a kiss. His mouth was hot and eager, pressing hard on Fushimi's with an aggression that could've come from either impatience or anxiety. Maybe both. He freed one of his hands to run it up over Fushimi's side and along the line of his ribcage, calloused fingertips moving with tentative gentleness.

The touch sent another shiver down his spine. Fushimi pulled back just far enough to murmur, "Misaki," against his boyfriend's lips, letting out a small, pleased hum as that mouth chased his again. On impulse, he brushed a finger up along the line of Misaki's spine; the hitch of breath he felt in response was gratifying.

Misaki's responses...  _I want more._

He had a rough idea of where he'd put that bottle down; Fushimi groped for it one handed while allowing Misaki access to the inside of his mouth. The slick glide of tongue along his bottom lip brought another little rush of sensation that gave him pause - amplified when Misaki's thumb brushed around his nipple. The mix of pleasant arousal and the press against over-sensitive nerve endings had him arching his back on the bed a little, fingers twitching against the covers.

_Good..._

Until this moment, he hadn't known just how potent a simple thing like touch could be in a situation like this.

_I want to do it._  The ache in his lower body was becoming a lot harder to ignore; the urge to grind up against Misaki's body until they both found release was surprising in its intensity. But also... he wanted...

His blindly wandering fingers closed on the bottle; Fushimi pushed in the cap and slid his right hand reluctantly from Misaki's back to squeeze a generous amount of the cool gel onto his fingers, rubbing them together to spread it. He wasn't really sure if he should break the kiss and give a warning, but it somehow felt better to reach around without separating them, spreading the cheeks of Misaki's ass and probing carefully with slicked fingers.

As it turned out, it probably didn't matter if he had, because Misaki gave a startled little jerk and gasped, separating them himself. "H-hey..." His hand pressed down harder against Fushimi's skin, as if in reflex. "A-a little warning would've been nice, y'know..."

"Sorry," he mumbled, more focused on the points he was touching. His fingers brushed the outside rim of that puckered hole.  _There._  "It's fine, though, right?"

"Huh? Fine?" Misaki sucked in a sudden, sharp breath as the tip of Fushimi's finger dipped tentatively inside him. His body tensed. "Hah..."

The reaction was enough to cause him to freeze. He was positive he wasn't doing it incorrectly, but... "You're supposed to relax."

"R-right..." The breath seemed to leave Misaki all at once; he ducked his head forward to rest against Fushmi's shoulder. "Relax. Sure."

The tension didn't seem to ease off much.  _Now what?_  The information he'd found online hadn't covered this in detail. Fushimi turned his head a little so that he could see the edge of Misaki's face. The tip of his ear was a bit red. "I'm not sure about your definition of 'relax', but..."

"Sh-shut up! I'm working on it, okay?" Misaki's hand clenched into a fist against his chest. "Th-this... just... I-I didn't expect it, that's all."

_What, exactly, were you expecting?_  "It'll hurt if I don't do this first."

"I get it, already! I'm not that dumb!" Misaki let out an agitated-sounding huff against his shoulder, and somehow - weirdly enough - his body seemed to relax just a bit. "I can handle this just fine, so give me a fucking second here, okay?"

_Not like I have much choice._  It wasn't a scenario he'd prepared himself for. A little edge of uncertainty was starting to seep through into his thoughts. Fushimi watched his boyfriend's profile for a moment as he breathed slowly. Should he do something? The mood was definitely starting to change, which was probably not good. It was frustrating that he couldn't apply any kind of logic to this, but it was based on feelings, after all.

_Feelings..._  Both the bane of his existence and the light at the end of the dark tunnel that had been his life. He closed his eyes, focusing on the places where Misaki's naked body pressed against his.

It wasn't something he would give up, even if it was sometimes irritating.

Against his shoulder, Misaki let out a shaky breath, and his body loosened considerably. "Do it," he mumbled, not raising his head.

The unexpected concession caught Fushimi off-guard; he paused for a moment. "Misa - ?"

"I said fucking do it already!" It was possible to actually feel the heat against his skin from the flush rising on Misaki's face; he added, in a low mutter, "I really want to do it with you, okay? Saruhiko."

The rush of warmth that came with those words had his heart pounding again; Fushimi let the corners of his mouth edge up, just a little. "Virgins really are impatient."

"Shut up! Like you can talk, you - " The rest of Misaki's words were swallowed by another sharp intake of breath as Fushimi slid his finger in further. "Hnn..."

It was tight, as expected. "Does it hurt?"

Misaki's breathing was ragged against his shoulder; it took him a couple of seconds to respond. "No." His voice was a little shaky, but clear. "Just... kind of weird."

Fushimi slid the finger back; it was easy with the lubrication, and the idea of pushing a more sensitive part of his anatomy into Misaki's body was almost dizzying. "I'm doing two this time," he said, more to ground himself than to provide warning.

"Yeah, yeah, just... just get on with it, Saru!"

"If you say so." It was a little harder to push past the initial resistance with two, but they still sank in easily enough. Misaki's breath hitched again and his body momentarily tensed up, but he was able to relax himself more easily this time. After a moment of trying to imitate the scissoring motion he'd read about, Fushimi withdrew them.

When he went in with three, Misaki made a little grunt and tensed noticeably. Fushimi stilled his fingers again. "It hurt, right?"

There was a sharp exhale of breath against his shoulder, and Misaki abruptly pushed himself up, staring down with his eyes narrowed and his face flushed, a halfway-embarrassed scowl on his lips. "Get. The fuck. On with it," he gritted out, making a noticeable effort to relax.

Being the focus of that gaze was enough, as usual. "Don't complain about it later," Fushimi mumbled back at him, trying to keep his voice even and unconcerned. It wasn't a total success, which was annoying but couldn't be helped. He obligingly slid the fingers all the way in, spreading them out as much as he could. Misaki let out another little 'hn' sound and grimaced a bit, but didn't tense up. His shoulders were trembling slightly.

There was... something he'd kind of wanted to try. Fushimi stilled his motions, trying to think back to what he'd read about it. Misaki's eyes were on him, intent and straightforward despite the awkward situation.  _I want to see what his face will look like..._  The position was wrong, though.  _I'll have to move._  He withdrew his fingers again and pulled back his hand entirely.

Misaki's brow furrowed a bit as Fushimi shifted his arm to reach between their bodies instead. "What are you doing?"

The erection that had stood up proudly between Misaki's legs earlier had noticeably flagged. If he did this right, it wouldn't be for long, though... Fushimi slid his fingers under the soft curve of Misaki's balls - not a place he'd have predicted ever putting his hand, if he'd thought about it before - and then further back, probing cautiously. "I want to try something."

"You're not treating this like some kind of experiment or something, are you?" Misaki let out an agitated breath, flinching only slightly when Fushimi's fingers found the point where they could sink into him again. "Because... fuck..."

"I'm not." Fushimi curled his fingers inward, toward the base of Misaki's flagging erection, searching for the right spot. "It should feel good if I do it right, so just... wait..."

The moment when he found it was like electricity. Misaki let out a startled cry and his whole body jerked, muscles contracting around Fushimi's fingers as he squeezed his eyes shut. "H-hah..." He panted for a moment, opening his eyes just a crack. "Saruhiko..."

The desperate, frenzied tone sent a rush of arousal through Fushimi's body; it was momentarily hard to breathe. He wiggled his fingers again, without really thinking about it, and Misaki shuddered uncontrollably, making a low, throaty noise as he ducked his head forward. "Th-that," he panted, eyes fluttering open again, "feels... really good..."

The unrestrained display was making the ache in his lower body almost unbearable. Fushimi had to swallow, sliding his fingers out. "Misaki," he murmured, and then couldn't think of what else to say. He fumbled for the lube with his other hand, not wanting to turn his gaze away.

_Just keep looking at me like that._

Misaki pushed himself up on his hands, almost to a sitting position over Fushimi's hips, and a hint of uncertainty wormed its way onto that heated expression. "Are - aren't you gonna - ?"

His fingers closed around the bottle almost at the same moment.  _Finally._  "Don't be so impatient." He poured more lube onto his palm and swished it around on his hand before reaching down to grip his own erection.

The sensation was unexpectedly strong; he couldn't hold back a moan, narrowing his eyes to slits and panting as he kept his eyes fixed on Misaki's face with some desperation.  _This feeling..._

He couldn't have predicted it would be like that.

Misaki was watching him as he forced his hand to still, gaze hot and slightly glazed over. "Saruhiko," he breathed out, sounding about as affected as Fushimi felt, and shut his mouth, nodding fervently. "Let's - let's do it."

_Yes._  The response in his head was clear, but out loud, all he managed was a weak, "Mm."

It took some shuffling to get lined up, which was difficult with neither of them feeling particularly patient. But in the end, Fushimi held his own erection while Misaki lowered himself down onto it, both of them shaking a little and moving jerkily. Misaki's expression tightened up a bit when the head of Fushimi's cock hit the ring of muscle, but he didn't stop, and the warm pressure as he sank down was nearly too much. Fushimi shut his eyes, caught up in a blend of emotion and physical pleasure that was so strong he felt like crying.

_Misaki..._

When he opened them again, he could see all of Misaki's naked body, his knees splayed to either side, chest heaving and stomach muscles contracting as he breathed raggedly. His shoulders were tense and trembling, and his cock was still standing up between his legs, firm and weeping from the head - the evidence of his desire. He had his eyes closed, his face was flushed, and he had sunk all the way down, his body accepting Fushimi's completely; the way his soul had accepted Fushimi's soul - the way all of Misaki accepted all of Fushimi, taking him in and melding them together until they were one, entirely and completely.

The sight was so stunning it took his breath away; against the bedsheets, his hands were trembling violently.

Then Misaki let out a breath, long and shaky, and opened his eyes slowly. His pupils were blown wide, and his eyes still burned with lust; he managed an unsteady grin. "Saruhiko," he managed to murmur, voice rough. "You... hah... you gotta try this..."

A hot spike of arousal shivered through him at that. "Misaki," he groaned, eyes narrowing to slits; he bucked his hips up, into his boyfriend's waiting body. The rush of heat and pleasure that came with the motion just about undid him; his head fell back against the pillow as he gasped.  _I want it all. Give me all of you. Take me in. Misaki..._

The response was immediate; Misaki made a noise like something between a gasp and a cry, a shudder rocking his body violently. "Sa.. Saru..." He fell back on his hands, fingers scrambling for some purchase against Fushimi's legs as he tightened up almost to the point of pain.

_Feels... so good..._

Misaki apparently shared that sentiment; his expression was fervent and fierce as he pushed himself up, unashamedly rocking forward. The muscles in his thighs flexed as he moved; he let out another low, desperate moan, hips jerking as he thrust back and the head of Fushimi's cock brushed against the bundle of nerves inside him. He was shaking violently, and his eyes were burning with need when their gazes locked.

It nearly caused Fushimi to spill over the edge right then and there; his fingers clutched at the bedsheets as he rocked up automatically to meet Misaki's motions. It felt like the pleasure spread out through his entire body, and he could barely breathe. There were stars forming at the edges of his vision. Something like a mix between a gasp and a whimper escaped his throat, but he couldn't bring himself to be annoyed by it, too affected by the sight and the feel of Misaki fucking himself on his dick, as if he just couldn't get enough of Fushimi.

_You want all of me, right, Misaki? Show me... how much..._

They moved clumsily at first, the instinctive jerking of Fushimi's hips conflicting with the way Misaki rocked against him, but the moment of awkwardness passed quickly as they found a rhythm. He could feel and hear as well as see it whenever he hit Misaki's prostate; the contracting of the muscles around him and Misaki's unrestrained cries as his face screwed up with the sensation.

Fushimi's whole body was on edge, every push and pull of his erection into Misaki's slickened body inching him that much closer... the pleasure that much greater... stomach tightening... motions growing more and more erratic... the sound of his own moans growing higher and more desperate around the increasing pace of their joining...

"Misaki..." The name fell of his lips without his conscious decision. "Misaki... Misaki..."

His boyfriend made another little sound, staring at Fushimi with wild desire, and abruptly reached between his legs, stroking himself with sudden, fervent need. "Saruhiko," he moaned, and cried out again as Fushimi's dick seated fully within him, fingers twitching and motions stuttering.

All at once, the space between them felt like too much. Fushimi balled his hands and pushed himself up off the bed, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Misaki's waist as he tilted his face up to meet those lips in a desperate kiss.

Misaki responded with sloppy, fierce enthusiasm, his free hand closing on Fushimi's arm hard enough to bruise. His lips and tongue were tense and hot, and he groaned into Fushimi's mouth, hips still rising and falling with a kind of helpless need. From the way his breath fanned out across Fushimi's cheek, shallow and urgent, it was obvious he was close.

The combination of Misaki's body against his, the frenzied motion of Misaki's thrusting against him, and the brush of Misaki's hand as he pumped his own erection caused the pleasure building up within Fushimi to spike. "Misaki," he managed to gasp, separating their lips, "I..."

He wasn't even entirely sure what he'd been about to say, but it was lost in the rush of his orgasm, his entire body trembling and a wordless cry escaping his lips as waves of sensation washed over him and he was released from the tension. His toes curled and his hands balled into fists; he instinctively pushed down hard against Misaki's hips, burying himself as far into that warm body as he could while his dick twitched within.

_So good... so good... so good, Misaki..._

As he was coming down and finding his breath again, he was aware of Misaki's harsh breathing against his face; the hard, fast movement of the hand between their bodies as he jerked himself off frantically. Fushimi had barely a second to feel one last little jolt of pleasure at the feeling, and then Misaki stiffened against him, letting out a low moan as his body jerked and fluid spilled between their stomachs. His face was red, and his mouth slack, eyes just barely open and watching Fushimi's face while he rode out his orgasm.

For a moment after it ended, they just sat there, a mess of trembling limbs and sweat-slicked bodies, staring at each other's faces as they panted in the aftermath. Misaki's head fell forward, forehead meeting Fushimi's with a soft thud, and his lips twitched up into a tired smile.

"Fucking... awesome," he said, a bit breathlessly. "Saruhiko... that was... really..."

Fushimi closed his eyes for a moment, arms tightening around Misaki's waist, and murmured his boyfriend's name again, quietly. He couldn't quite classify the emotions shifting within him in that moment, but the undeniable satisfaction - both physical and mental - was heady and warm, enveloping him like a blanket.

It somehow felt like they really had become one, and he wanted to enjoy that for as long as possible.

Misaki let out a huff of a sigh, and shifted, wrapping his arms around Fushimi's shoulders and pulling him closer. "You always gonna be this clingy after sex?"

Fushimi made a small, derisive sound at that, opening his eyes a crack. Misaki's expression was warm and content, brimming over with affection as he returned the gaze, and the small part of Fushimi that held his fears and uncertainties stilled and grew distant.  _If you could always look at me like that..._  "Does it matter?"

"Heh... Well, I kind of like it." The smile widened into a grin. "This is a side of you I get all to myself, so, y'know..." He shrugged. "It's special."

Something in those words reverberated strongly with his own feelings. Fushimi felt the corners of his mouth twitch, and let his own smile form. "I guess."

There was another moment of comfortable silence between them.

Misaki sighed again, sounding a bit resigned, and shifted. "Okay, we seriously need to clean up - this is kinda gross."

He was right about that - now that the moment was passing, Fushimi was starting to become uncomfortably aware of it. He loosened his arms, starting to pull back, and felt the cool air against the mess on his stomach. "Most of it's from you, you know."

"Sh-shut up!" Predictably enough, Misaki scowled at him, cheeks going a bit pink. "Don't act like you had nothing to do with it!"

_Because of me..._  Fushimi smiled back placidly, feeling content. "Mmhm."

They cleaned up as much as possible in the dorm and then went to the shared bathrooms to finish the rest. It was mostly deserted, but neither one of them felt like risking too much contact in a public environment, so they settled for exchanging a few slightly awkward glances while washing and then sitting in the bath with their shoulders just barely touching before making their way back to the room.

Misaki turned to face him almost as soon as the door closed behind them, his face lit up with a bright grin. "We gotta do this more often," he declared and leaned in purposefully.

Fushimi bent to meet him, the soft, gentle brush of lips against his amplifying the refreshed feeling from the bath. "I'm sleeping in your bed tonight," he mumbled as they parted, and stole another kiss.

"Hah?" Misaki blinked at him, eyebrows furrowing as they pulled apart. "There's not enough room in my bed!"

Fushimi frowned at him, a little edge of irritation sneaking in with the objection. "We've done it before."

"Well, yeah, but that couldn't be helped - I mean, you were sick." If anything, Misaki's puzzled frown just deepened. "Why do you want to sleep in my bed, anyway? What's wrong with your bed?"

_So annoying..._  Fushimi clicked his tongue, looking deliberately away. Explaining his reasoning now felt awkward, and it bothered him that he was the only one who seemed to have this feeling.  _Are you really so stupid that you can't read the atmosphere?_

"What? Don't just 'tch' at me like I'm supposed to understand," Misaki grumbled and let out a frustrated-sounding huff. "How am I supposed to know why you'd want to..." His voice trailed off, and then he inhaled sharply. "Ah." It was almost possible to hear the rusty cogs in his head start to move as he thought about it. "Wait... are you saying... you want to cuddle or something?"

_I shouldn't have to say it, idiot._  Fushimi frowned at the wall, feeling a traitorous warmth creep onto his face. "Never mind," he muttered. "It's nothing - just forget it."

He was already turning to move towards the top bunk when Misaki grabbed his arm. "Wait! For fuck's sake, Saru, just... wait, okay?" When Fushimi tilted his head back, he got a determined glare in return. "You seriously gotta stop doing that! Yeah, I get it, I'm dumb and all, but..." He shrugged, looking a bit awkward about it and added, "Th-that doesn't mean I... don't want to."

Fushimi blinked at him, momentarily uncertain what to think. As he stared, a hint of color was starting to bloom on Misaki's face, along with an embarrassed scowl. "What?" he muttered after a few seconds passed.

"Nothing." Fushimi turned back fully, glanced down at the hand still clutching his arm, and then back to Misaki's face, and felt a slow smile building on his lips. "I was just thinking that even after having sex, you still act like a virgin over other things."

"Shut up! I do not! A-anyway, this was your idea, damnit - don't fucking smirk at me!"

"If you say so."

Even after they'd done something like that, the usual things didn't change. Fushimi contemplated that as they were lying together on their sides on the tiny bunk, with Misaki's arms around his waist and Misaki's breathing starting to even out against Fushimi's collarbone. They still kissed and talked and got into pointless arguments. Nothing had changed outside of the two of them, either - although with Misaki's track record at hiding things, he wouldn't be surprised if everyone who knew either of them would find out about this within several hours of him leaving the dorm.

Still, somehow it felt like something important  _had_  changed.

It was a ridiculous notion, but as he started to drift off with his arm falling asleep under Misaki's head and his hands growing cold outside of the covers, there was a kind of satisfied contentment settled within him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you once again to everyone who followed Building Bridges all the way through! I hope you enjoyed this extra! I know I sure enjoyed writing it (and all of the rest), and I'm so incredibly happy for all the support, the kudos, the comments, and the love! You guys rock!


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